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Save The Last Dance For Me

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Save The Last Dance For Me I will never be a perfect follower of my precious and perfect Jesus. Super-duper thing about knowing this is knowing my Jesus prefers progress over perfection. If we were perfect, we would have no need of him and we most certainly need him. We need a savior, a best friend with unlimited talk time, a superior cheerleader throughout our lives, a father figure who binds up wounds and carries us.  Interesting fun fact: I grew up with an almost innate belief that God loved me. Like it just made total sense despite how crazy my life was...it wasn't until I was older that I began to believe that I needed to earn his love and protection. That I needed to be perfect and cross off so and so many boxes of accomplishments before the great teacher would look on me and reward me. I strove to make sure my prayers were just right...tried my hardest to make them sound like other peoples poetic prayers...I just couldn't do it. So there was that...the beginning of the e...
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Resiliency

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  Resiliency The month of February was 'enchantingly chaotic', more chaotic than enchanting but nevertheless very interesting! Early in the month I went to good ol' Versailles, Missouri for a wedding and got to see all my lovely Missouri friends again. As soon as I got home I got slammed with a nasty bug that held on for what seemed like an eternity. Then as if that wasn't epic enough I totaled my car on my way home from the gym headed for coffee. I am still depending on the kindness of others lending a vehicle to me in order to get from point A to point B but I'm hoping a new-to-me vehicle is soon on the horizon!  I couldn't seem to gather much for writing inspiration with all the chaos chaos-ing but lately there has been a topic rolling around in my head that I think I would like to share with everybody. It is the topic of resiliency and the role my great grandmas influence played in my life.  Her name is Wilma Nadine (Brown) Jennings. I am super stoked to tel...
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Who Are You?

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  One afternoon I was cleaning my house and when I clean the house, I plow at full force ahead and clean everything in sight because who knows when I'm going to have the courage to do it again!  While I washed the dishes my mind became very busy. I don't have a dishwasher and these dishes had sat in the sink and on the countertops for far too long. With a few suds sliding down into my sleeve I wiped my hand over my forehead and thought grumpily " who lets their house go this long without a proper clean up?" And then I started thinking about all the things I didn't have, like a dishwasher or an electric skillet, etc. I even shed a tear over the fact that my Christmas decorations seemed rather wimpy. I thought of those who have fancier homes and those who seem to be further along in life than I am.  Are you ever hard on yourself like I am with myself? I noticed the suds growing fainter in the  cold and stale water. Taking a moment, I grounded myself...
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The Night I Told God I Hated Him

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The Night I Told God I Hated Him  God has not forgotten about you. Believe it or not, He has the perfect plan for your life all wrapped up in the goodness that He is. Do you ever get frustrated, weary, or worn out with your circumstances? Do you ever fear that God is mad at you for having questions and doubts? God, He gets it. He gets us! Our tears and heartaches are not invisible to Him. He sees everything and hears everything. He is such a good, good, Father.  I want to share an intimate testimony from my past about a fear I had revolving around wondering if God was mad at me because of my lack of faith and trust. I felt abandoned. Nothing about life at that point made any sense, and I can't say things moving forward made any more sense either but I've grown to understand something very pivotal.  My dad suddenly passed away when I was 16. Those who know anything about me, know that my dad was my best friend. He was also all the things good dads oug...
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Healing Is Hard

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  It's Time It's time to stop hurting Our own selves When we expect the door  To stay open for us For it to only Slam back in our faces.  Filling our vessel with anything  That is less than the whole  Becomes a thing of our yesterday's when we, Live for heaven And for our dreams. Accept what is  And accept ourselves, too Believe in the good And believe there is goodness still around. Do you ever wish someone could see Your soul laid bare? Or the blood splatters trickling downwards From the rogue arrow That riddled your heart? Do you wish they'd see what they're about to lose?  Open the gate to your heart And don't hold back because Fear will be your greatest enemy, When you let it take you for a prisoner In a war you didn't wager on When you let it eat away at the power Of grace and gentleness that you possess. Do you ever just want someone  To swoop in and save you  From the perils of life?  Strap you on their back and  Promise to ...
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Christmas Letter for Twenty Twenty-Three

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  Merry Christmas to All !     Well, it is that time of year again! Christmas letter exchanging time. I had the notion to skip out on this years letter but alas! I ended up finding the smallest dose of courage to mix something together. So as I write, it's basically the tedious baking process and hopefully this ties together at the end like a perfect meringue on a nice and tart lemon pie. Speaking of which, I do not like lemon pie. Anyway-- here goes nothing... Entering 2023 was a cinch. However, the year of hopeful prosperity didn't exactly obey my command and instead of flitzing through it I slowly dredged along. Friends gathered in my apartment there in little, Inman, Kansas and we celebrated the new year with games and party mix after a divine supper at Abuelo's in Wichita.  February brought an enjoyable trip to Florida over Valentine's Day or Galentine's Day, as it's written in my books. I flew into Tampa with my wonderful friend, Meredith, who ...
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Can't Change It

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I was there in the solitude of the night. There in the laundry room at work. It was 5:30a.m. and I was doing my least favorite duty for such an hour. Folding cleaning rags. Boo. I've worked here in Idaho for nearly 7 months now and so it's no surprise that I feel like I have a personal relationship with EACH rag. I'm gonna be very blunt here but a lot of times while I'm folding rags I'm inwardly thumping my brain 🧠 and saying repeatedly how much I despise this task. Why can't I be at home in bed? Alarm clock set at 6 so I can hop out of bed and cook my Prince Charming pancakes and eggs before he dashes off into the morning to provide for me while I stay home and make it homey for all. 🙄 Or why can't I be on a 7 month excursion to South Eastern Asia, wining and dining? Or why can't I be an accomplished writer already on a book tour in Seattle where the coffee is always hot?  Do you ever just feel a little behind the mark? Or like me, flights...
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