Who Are You?

 

One afternoon I was cleaning my house and when I clean the house, I plow at full force ahead and clean everything in sight because who knows when I'm going to have the courage to do it again! 

While I washed the dishes my mind became very busy. I don't have a dishwasher and these dishes had sat in the sink and on the countertops for far too long. With a few suds sliding down into my sleeve I wiped my hand over my forehead and thought grumpily " who lets their house go this long without a proper clean up?" And then I started thinking about all the things I didn't have, like a dishwasher or an electric skillet, etc. I even shed a tear over the fact that my Christmas decorations seemed rather wimpy. I thought of those who have fancier homes and those who seem to be further along in life than I am. 

Are you ever hard on yourself like I am with myself? I noticed the suds growing fainter in the  cold and stale water. Taking a moment, I grounded myself right there at the sink and shouted "STOP!" I took a step back and sorta held my head with both hands like one does before completely losing it. 

"Look around you! Look at all you have accomplished today! You didn't stay in bed all day like you wanted to. You got up and you got things done! you cleaned almost every room in the house AND washed all the dishes!!" I took a deep breath. 

A voice came to me, small and gentle. It was God and he whispered to me-- "Remember. Remember who you are!"

Who am I?

I am a CHOSEN child of a wonderful God. 

I am no quitter.

I am the daughter of Wayne and Laura

(And they didn't raise a wuss!)

I am marvelous.

I am kind.

I am a friend.

I am fierce.

Who are you? 

Don't let those dark voices in your head determine who you are and who you are not. Don't let others determine it either. Don't let the past tell you that your dreams are unworthy-- that you're not growing. Don't let the fear of an unknown future determine what you believe about yourself today. 

I am loved by God and I have so many true friends. I like to make people laugh. I don't like decorating but I do just a little bit to keep my mom's spirit alive around me. I have a roof over my head and I keep a nice home. I like to ask strangers random questions. I love cats. I love long drives in my car. I am not who the past says I am. I am not who my cluttered house says I am. I am not what my anxiety says I am. I am not the things that have hurt me. I am who God says I am and He says-- I'm wonderful. 

You're WONDERFUL!

It might not be something as mundane as wishing you had fancier Christmas decorations as you've seen at others houses. It might not be wishing you had better kitchen appliances. It might not be wishing you had more time and energy to clean your house or afford a cleaning lady. For me, that day, it was those little things that ended up piling up and pointing fingers at me making me feel like a loser. They say comparison is the thief of joy. And it is. We forget to see the blessings planted right here at our feet and the talents God has given to us when we look at all we don't have and see what others do have. 

I was having a conversation with a friend from Minnesota a week or so ago and I told her that I couldn't imagine how she does it and told her she was sooo talented and smart. I couldn't even believe she was willing to stoop to my level and be my friend! She stopped me in my tracks and said "but you don't see everything that I don't do. You don't see the tears I cry when I'm overwhelmed. The deadlines I don't quite make. The mornings I sleep in too long and never change out of pajamas. I can just as easily look at you and think, "wow! She goes to the gym every week and often entertains guests...cooking big meals and everything!" 

We might not realize it at the moment. It might take others to point it out to us so we can see things through a clearer lense. Believe it or not there are things about your life that someone else wishes they had or had the time for! There's someone out there who admires your bravery and courage! There's someone out there that is praying for your victories. It takes Susie with her perfectly baked and frosted sugar cookies and it takes Alice with her open door policy and dining room table set for 4. It takes Jane with her famous Christmas turkey she does every year. And it takes Rue who is usually just a little bit late to supper, so that Alice can take the edge off and have a little more time to pull things together before it's time to sit down and feast.

We don't all have to be good at everything. There is enough cheer for everybody. And our flaws can sometimes be flawless.  

--ginger 💜